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Writing with Feeling

Most of us started out reading ‘See Spot’, ‘See Spot Run’ ‘See Jane’; I don’t remember ever learning where Spot ran and what he did when he got there.

Then came composition classes, mostly in high school, where we learned how to write a short story. We learned about adjectives, adverbs, narration and characters, but not a lot was taught about feeling. Feelings are what draws a reader in, they are how the readers fall in love with them, share their pains and excite in their joys. The following is a short story written with feeling. 

Those who have read my books, know I enjoy writing in first person.

The Procedure

Draped only in a hospital gown, I was placed face down on the cold, hard, stainless steel table. A folded blanket placed under my stomach and a folded towel as a makeshift pillow placed under my head, my arms placed above my head. I could not see who was in the room with me. I could not see the huge machine around me and I could not see the instruments that were on the table near me. I hear, “Let’s begin” and I feel like I’m sitting on a roller coaster. The bar has come down and securely clicked. My mouth is dry and my heart begins to race. It starts to roll slowly out the gate. I take a deep breath as I receive the medication in my IV to relax me. My body feels the effects immediately as it begins to lay lifeless on the table, my eyes close and the voices seem to be in the distance. “Hi, Joyce, I’m Doctor Ventura. I will be doing your procedure today. I’m going to give you a numbing shot. You will feel a pinch.” Pinch? More like a Novocain shot near an infected abscess. I feel the chiseling on my spine. With each tap I feel a sensation up and down my legs.The scraping of the spine sent shivers throughout my body. After a while, I begin to get restless. My left arm hurts in the upright position, as I have frozen shoulder.. My nipples  have become painfully cold with only the gown separating them from the table. My back is crying to be stretched. I am given another dose to relax me. Again, it is an immediate fix. The chiseling continues, this time a bit more aggressive. I can feel it in my stomach. Feels like my spine is going to shatter. I make some type of moaning noise and another numbing shot is given. I hear the machine moving about me, I don’t know what it does, but I think it is some sort of imaging. They reposition my body, including my head and arms, and by doing so, the paper hair shield they put on me has now been pushed to my forehead and my hair is in my eyes and I cannot see anything. A bit of fear overcomes me. I turn to deep breathing. I focus on the rhythm of the chiseling and the song the 7 dwarfs sing while mining comes to mind and I let out a little chuckle. Two hours later, the procedure is done. I can’t wait to sit up. However, I have to lay flat for two more hours, on my back in the recovery room. 


I hope this story took through my biopsy. And I hope you were able to feel what I felt. I did this as an example of drawing readers in. 

Until next time…

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